DAY 17 - 

Dear Inner Procrastinator, 

OK Mr. Procrastinate, I’m just gonna call you “Nate” for short.

Nate I’d really love for this to be a love note to you but right now I’m feeling pretty frustrated. Can you help me understand how I can work with you?
Nate: Um...
Me: OK maybe that was a rough introduction this is after all our first conversation, let me start over, Hello Nate, nice to meet you.
Nate: Really? Nice to meet me?
Me: I guess I’m not being totally honest here, it’s actually not nice to meet you. You get in the way of me getting stuff done, and it’s really really annoying.
Nate: (silence)
Me: What I mean to say is that I want to get to know you better. Ever since I became friends with worry wart, and I see the value in establishing a relationship at the challenging part of myself.
Nate: I’m not really feeling the LOVE in this NOTE.
Me: I get it I’m so sorry. OK I’ll try again. Nate, when I feel you, the energy feels very stuck and heavy. It’s really hard for me. And I know in my heart that there is a good reason that I feel that way. I know you were trying to tell me something. And I’m not listening. So… I want to listen now. I want to hear from you.
Nate: Alright.
Me: So?
Nate: So what?
Me: (chuckling) I should’ve expected this to be like pulling teeth.
Nate: See you’re just mean to me.
Me: Sorry, sorry again. OK how about we start with what’s going on today. I know sometimes you pop up, Nate, when there’s some thing I have to do but don’t WANT to. I totally get that. But today? When I am trying to do something really fun and creative that I DO want to do, why is it that it’s already 1:15 and I haven’t even started?
Nate: well for one thing, if you hadn’t noticed, you actually have started.
Me: OK yes I have started.
Nate: It makes me mad when you exaggerate. And then blame me for you not having even started when you’ve totally started, you’ve done a lot actually.
Me: you’re right. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for exaggerating and I’m sorry for blaming you.
Nate: You always blame me. I feel like the worst ever.
Me: I know. I’m really really sorry.
Nate: (silence)
Me: so, give me a hint as to why I’m not nearly as far along today as I had intended? Do you know?
Nate: I hate deadlines. I hate working under pressure. It affects our ability to be creative.
Me: Hmmmm yes I agree.
Nate: so you have to do things way in advance if you don’t want me to be wearing my ugly head
Me: Oh Nate. Sounds like you are feeling really bad.
Nate: Yup.
Me: I have an idea, let’s spend some time together. Maybe in the bath or in my morning pages, or even just randomly throughout the day. How does that sound?
Nate: I’ll believe it when I see it.
Me: OK Nate. I’m actually going to need your help, though, to not procrastinate in getting to know you.
Nate: How ironic is that.
Me: (laughs) You’re kind of funny, did you know that?
Nate: Yup.
Me: You may think this is a bit early, to be using the L word, but I do love you Nate.
Nate: (raises eyebrows)
Me: You’ll see. We’ll be close in no time.
Nate: (crosses arms but smiles)